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Made in 1980 and starring actress turned porn star Marilyn
Chambers, Insatiable is a meandering skin flick that
follows the sexploits of a bored little rich girl in
rural America and urban London. Chambers, as said rich
girl, is seduced time after time by virtually everyone
who comes into her life - most notably by a handyman
on a pool table and by a lesbian friend in a pool. Later,
in a dream sequence, Chambers finishes off two guys
at once, then - for afters - immediately accommodates
John Holmes' not insignificant member up her back passage.
You can actually see it bring tears to her eyes...
Despite I-Candy's appalling transfer Insatiable is still
surprisingly capable of providing wood. PM
GKUK VERDICT
Marilyn Chambers really knows
how to fuck
Two men stowaway
on an all-women cruise liner and gradually screw their way
through the passengers and crew...
This time-honoured porno classic could be described as: Love
Boat with hardcore sex. Sure, the sex is as gritty and sleazy
as you'd expect from a cheap 70s skin flick, but the premise
is entertainingly silly and the girls are just as sexy now
as they were 30 years ago (well, sorta - if you discount the
hairy mojos...), so it's worth checking out in our eyes.
If nothing, Sex Boat is worth watching to see the captain
get her "hair pie" eaten by a bunch of rampaging
pirates at the end. PM
Studio:
BMG
Songs: Juanita/Kiteless, Cups, Plush Upstairs,
Pearls Girl, Jumbo, Shudder/King Of Snake, Born
Slippy Nuxx, Rez/Cowgirl, Moaner
Movie
GK
scenes
Sex
scenes
It's a couple of years old now, but Everything, Everything
still remains the best testament of UK dance act Underworld's
live presence. Their stirring techno anthems for the
common man are brought to life via the magic of digital
technology, clever editing and fantastic use of design,
sound and words, and this DVD is - as such - an absolute
joy to experience. Dance music fans should not be without
it. PM
GKUK VERDICT
The best dance music DVD ever
released
Studio:
Paramount
Starring: Cheech Marin, Thomas Chong, Tom Skerritt,
Stacy Keach
Movie
GK
scenes
Sex
scenes
Two hippies are deported to
Mexico and unwittingly drive a van - made out of marijuana
- across the border into California. Tom Skerritt and Stacy
Keach put in life best performances as a cracked Vietnam vet
and a crazed NARC officer respectively, though Cheech Marin
and Thomas Chong outshadow them both with arguably the most
hilariously effective Cheech & Chong team-up in history.
PM
GKUK VERDICT
An absolutely indispensable 70s comedy
classic
We're not quite sure why the girls are kitted-out as
a pit-stop crew for the cover of this DVD - there's
absolutely no motor racing to speak of, and the cars
that do feature are very old, or are stood very still.
But that's by-the-by because the cars in this film are
there primarily to have sex on, which is what Jenna
Jameson and her naughty girlfriends are so good at.
In terms of performers, you don't get much better than
this. Jenna, (the very dirty) Jill Kelly, and Serenity
- all in one big circle on the floor? Pee-Yow!
Pretty much every luscious babe in this kisses to perfection,
and they really know how to squeal too. But, hey: that's
Jenna for you. PM
GKUK VERDICT
A must-have girl-girl instant
horn-inducer
The box says: "The sequel
to adult's most awarded film". We have to ask: "Why
was it so awarded?" - we saw it and didn't think it was
that great. And we've also got to ask: "Who gives a shit
anyway?"
Paul Thomas pushes the boundaries of porn pretentiousness
with this incomprehensible patchwork of events following performers
Raylene and (the ever-so-cute) April through numerous semen-drenched
adult situations. Starting out in a women's prison, the girls
eventually escape into a world of even more sex, and inadvertently
discover that it is The Devil himself who is (literally) fucking
with them.
The sex is great throughout and the movie opens with an awesome
girls kissing scene. PM
GKUK VERDICT
Dirty, horny and fun, but not as clever
as it thinks
Studio:
A&E
Starring: Barbara Kellerman, Julia Foster, Emma
Ridley, Dinah Sheridan, Denholm Elliot, Jon Finch,
James Laurenson, Pat Quinn, Nicholas Ball, Pat
Heywood, Richard Pearson, Gary Bond
Movie
GK
scenes
Sex
scenes
This infamous British television series was put together
by some of the most famous horror writers, directors
and producers in Hammer's history. Though not complete
(we remember one episode starring Suzanne Danielle
that is not in this four-disc boxed set) this is nontheless
an exceptional treat for fright fans the world over.
One episode in particular: The Two Faces Of Evil -
where a young family on holiday pick up a strange
hitchhiker with a long fingernail - marks as our favourite
in the 676 minute set. Other classic episodes, such
as The Mark Of Satan, Children Of The Full Moon, and
The House That Bled To Death, continue to chilling
effect. PM
GKUK VERDICT
Still capable of causing nightmares
now
Studio:
Anchor Bay
Starring: Arthur Kennedy, Christine Galbo, Ray Lovelock
Movie
GK
scenes
Sex
scenes
Jorge Grau's infamous, creepy
zombie movie has been lovingly restored by those amazing folks
at Anchor Bay, and not only is it a pristine widescreen transfer,
but it's also fully uncut too. At this point we ought to say:
if you've got a weak stomach you should forget this film right
now - it's so violent and gory that it was banned in the UK
in 1984 and has never been released uncut since.
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie is a strange, dark film - with stupid
dialogue in places - and it breaks many traditional zombie
conventions that will irk some fans. Those faults, however,
are worth bearing with, since it is not every day you get
to see a horror films as dark and unusual as this. PM
Andrew Blake's movies are always full of horny young
rock chicks with big hair, and Secrets is no exception.
From the outset the movie is swathed in a swoonsome
glow as Zara
Whites lets down her hair (ahem) and has some fun
with a Beverly Hills escort agency she becomes involved
with. The opening sex scene, featuring one guy and four
girls - all the while spied upon through a spyglass
by Zara - is loin-stirring stuff, though won't win any
awards for originality.
Secrets is most notable for the quality of its girls
kissing scenes more than anything else. There are four
exceptional GK moments in this movie which makes it
well worth tracking down. PM
GKUK VERDICT
The kissing scenes are as horny
as they come
The Hustler Barely Legal collection
is not known for it's subtlety - generally most sex scenes
are preceded by the girl taking a piss - though thankfully
in episode ten of this ongoing series we are spared that spectacle
for at least one, quite heavenly scene - where two young girlies
get down and dirty with each other while watching one of daddy's
porno movies. Watching them rub, lick and kiss each other
for fifteen minutes sorta makes the world feel all right again.
As a "bonus" Barely Legal #10 also features GK regular
and favourite Monica
Mayhem, who pisses on the floor in a TV studio then proceeds
to make love to the lighting technician... PM
GKUK VERDICT
One of the horniest lesbian scenes ever
Now here's a great idea
for a porno: you get one of the best-looking, chisel-toned,
sweet-smelling hardcore performers ever known to interview
prospective attendees for an all-girl gang-bang and
film what goes on. This Vivid have done with the ever-stunning
Janine Lindemulder in Xtreme Janine.
The movie begins with Janine sat behind a desk, looking
all boss-like, and contestants arrive and have to sell
themselves to get in on the action. A couple of the
girls are pretty worked, though most are dirty enough
to pass the audition and get Janine to themselves for
a few minutes of pleasure. The gang-bangs themselves
are pretty standard porno fare from a setting perspective
- the dungeon in the first orgy is pretty laughable
to be frank. That said, Janine herself is first rate
all the way and takes a dildo in the ass like we never
saw her take one before. Add to that one Janine, Stephanie
Swift sandwich and you're looking at a tasty movie
overall. PM
GKUK VERDICT
Fun interviews with some decent
hardcore all-girl sex
Don't get us wrong: Aria Giovanni
is one heck of a mega-babe - with the best looks and the most
amazing body in the business... except, she doesn't seem to
want to use that body in the way we all want her to. That
is: taking it up every hole imaginable.
In Aria... Aria - well - sorta floats around feeling girls...
and looking nice (which is not hard for her, let's face it).
She doesn't talk, fuck, suck a cock, smoke a cigarette, or
do much of anything else at all really.
Thankfully the lovely Adriana
Sage is on hand to handle all the hardcore duties and
it is with some relief that we can report she's actually well
worth watching (from a sexual standpoint at least).
Andrew Blake proves once again that bland can be beautiful,
though we hope his next movie will not ALL be shot in slow
motion, and that eventually he will manage to persuade Aria
to take a load in the face for his camera. We live in hope...
PM
GKUK VERDICT
Incredibly sexy women - not enough action
